As we posed in front of the alter after mass, I couldnt help but think of how special a photo like that is for my mother & father in law. Coicoi Dell, their 3 married sons, and 3 gorgeous granddaughters...a life rich in family moments is certainly what it is all about.
Is there anything more adorable in this world than little girls in their Easter best? Multiply that by 3 and you have what can only be described as the cutest trio of cousins ever in their Nana's matching handmade dresses! They were a total hit before and after Easter mass and stole the show the entire day. Holidays are naturally a bit nuttier with a 3mo, 1.5 & 3.5yr old who rule the extended family roost. Peaceful dinners are interjected with baby giggles and that right there makes it all worth it ;) It's safe to say Morgan thinks Jaina is a total RIOT...noone else can get these kind of belly laughs from her! As we posed in front of the alter after mass, I couldnt help but think of how special a photo like that is for my mother & father in law. Coicoi Dell, their 3 married sons, and 3 gorgeous granddaughters...a life rich in family moments is certainly what it is all about.
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It's safe to say Morgan's favorite pastime is people watching. Like a human mobile, she is literally transfixed on the variety of passersby when we sit at a coffee shop or along the benches on Central Park West (hello spring, I love you!). She becomes quiet, intensely alert, and so relaxed in my arms as she takes it all in. How fascinating all these people must be to someone just over 100 days old!
One year ago today, we found out we were pregnant. The excitement I has for when Lee walked in the door from work to tell him the news will forever be a movie I play out in my mind...the details never forgotten. The old apartment. The multiple tests. The way we hugged and held each other with such happiness & excitement.
(And then having to go to dinner with my brother in law & sister in law and eat Korean BBQ and turn down wine...I think they caught on quickly;) One year later...and here we are! Life is good. Morgan's outfit of the day is brought to you by her stylish sister from another mister down in Jacksonville, Miss Collins Grace! Morgan may live in NYC, but CG's mom finds all the best baby clothes and clues me in on what is up.
H&M pants Tessalou bow (ETSY) Cheers to pretty baby girls! I take it all back. Every dramatic word in my update post of two days ago and write to you now as I sit in Morgan's nursery as she babbles herself to sleep in her crib. Has this chicky found her voice or what!? I knew it was coming, slowly but surely the coos & sweet "ahh--ooo--awws" were becoming more consistant, lasting longer, and just as adorable as can be. Life is funny like that right? How completely on the edge you can be for days and then suddenly feel so alive and have a sense that you really own it.
My little girl has come out of that newborn shell even more over the past few days and I love being able to watch the evolution of her spirit. It's fascinating and completely incredible to witness! Today was a GREAT day!
Fresh air, happy baby, and a street churro...I'll take it! Speaking of taking it...my daughter has taken a bottle every day for the last 3 days. WHEW. Ps: thanks Auntie SKiener for the bear cub onsie! Fits M like a glove;) I wrote a terribly depressing post sometime last week and took it down after 36hrs. I wasnt ready to put that all out there yet and hit publish without thinking that one through. I then wrote a glaringly honest and post-partum anxiety tell it all email to my high school girlfriends on Saturday morning which had to leave them feeling like I was one crazy mama. Maybe not insane, but definitely they could sense my feelings of overwhelmingness through each line. What's going on in the world of Morganland is one that I think most moms emerge from after the adreneline wears off and your hair starts falling out (yep, those lucious pregnancy locks are now falling out like mad and I find them in clumps in my baby's tiny hands...gross)---it's that the new normal around here is quite literally nothing I have ever, ever experienced. I'm adapting daily and peeling back layers upon layers of who I am and revealing to myself all that I have the potential to be. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror some mornings as I put on the same pair of Lululemon pants and one of 4 long sleeved tees that I rotate along with my totally unsexy nursing bra, but I'm there underneath it all. My mind is mush and I'm laughing at how I made sure to stock up on my favorite makeup before Morgan was born because guess what, I put on makeup maybe 2x a week. And haven't even had to open any of it. "Did you shower while I was out at the gym?" my husband said on Sunday morning. "No, I just actually washed my face and straightened my hair and put on some mascara." That this scenerio has become our banter cracks me up. Even in the baby haze of those first 8 weeks, I had time to shower and I was fueled on some crazy concoction of hormones. As those all settle and I emerge from the newborn mama status, I'm simply a ponytailed mom who has a short term memory of a gnat. (Seriously, Lee has asked me to pick up bandaids for days now and even 4 reminders on my phone don't help.) I planned a little girls night with some friends for tonight and I hope and pray I can formulate a sentence without pausing to make sure I don't sound like a rambling idiot or look down and realize there is baby spit up on my shirt, then frantically mumble about how I have zero to talk about except for nap schedules and bedtime routines. The Sarah that I was is gone...gone in the way that I will never be the same person or Lee & I the same couple that we were pre-children. And that's OK! It will be years until we know the freedom like we had those first 2yrs of marriage. But finding myself and granting myself the grace to change and get through the thick of it (it's not going to be pretty) one day at a time? I can do this. I know I can.
This week we're hoping to arrange for a part-time nanny to start, take Morgan to the daycare at Equinox, and attempt baby storytime at the library. And after a standoff of a few hours this weekend, our stingy little girl gave in and took the bottle again (twice!). Life is different, life is good, life is just where it's meant to be. Embracing it all on this Monday morning... It's definitely safe to say I am loving 3mo old Morgan. The animated faces and smiles, the wanting to sit up in my lap, the ability she has to play on her playmat and stay entertained by the floating animals...stepping back from it all, I sometimes can't believe she was a newborn just over 90days ago. 90 days only! That's NOTHING. And I wanted to know more as to what was going on mentally and physically with my girl (the pediatrician only seems to give that high level overview...I want the nitty gritty!) Thanks to my high school now mama pal Marie who cued me into reading the book THE WONDER WEEKS---a perfectly organized little baby book of the developmental leaps that occur and what to expect. It takes the guessing out of certain "when did she start being able to do X" and enjoy the stages with a greater understanding. We are in the middle of "smooth transitions" right now ie, movements aren't so jerky, the Moro reflex disappears (aka less swaddling for fear she'd flail her arms and wake up), etc.
We went through a major growth spurt (hello child who went from eating every 3hrs like clockwork to a fussy girl that you'd think couldn't last one minute past 2hrs without milk) these past few days and it is amazing to see the changes in her motions settle in a bit. One thing is definitely for certain...stranger anxiety is starting to hit like crazy. This morning while visiting my friend Laura and her edibly adorable new bundle James down in Chelsea, Morgan's bottom lip curled and wailing ensued when in Laura's arms. Even when I was changing her in James' room she let out some inconsolable cries that seemed to be of the "I don't know this place and it's making me nervous!" variety. Once outside again, she was fine but wow---wasn't expecting this so soon! Someone just loves her mommy right now! Three months! No longer an newborn but an infant! This milestone has been one that's been on my mind since you were born. I remember clearly in those first few weeks of getting to know you how I, admittedly, wanted to press the fast foward button and get to 12wks. I knew you'd be more used to the world around you and I would be less of a frazzled new mama. While the former is certainly true, I'm working daily on improving the latter. The changes you have exhibited since last month have been great, not only in your growth but in how you interact and see the world! At three months old you are just a hair under 15lbs and a total chubbster already in 3-6mo clothes for the past 2 weeks. I take loads of pride in those rolls and just love it when strangers comment on how HEALTHY you look. Words like that can simply make my day.
Developmentally, I dont even know where to begin! While you still absolutely HATE tummy time (your fiesty spirit really gets going even when I begin to flip you over, it's like you know what is coming and you do NOT like it!)...you will humor me for a few minutes a few times a day. Proving to Mama just how strong you are you rolled over for the first time while home in Pittsburgh visiting Pap & Gramma! To have them there to witness it was just priceless and the cheers that resounded in our house in Country Manor must've been heard by the neighbors! You love tracking things with your eyes and will happily follow stuffed animals from right to left and back pretty much all day long. You show your excitement by constantly kicking your arms and legs (you have a keen affection for kicking your feet on Mama when I hover above you and play) and have started to show an interest in reaching for things to grab, but not consistantly. If I put a rattle in your hand you immediately latch on and can move it up and down, my what strength you have! Perhaps the most exciting milestone of the past month is all the chatter that comes out of your sweet little mouth! It comes and goes during the day but I just LOVE our "conversations" back and forth and those coos and gurggles have a greater range and last longer than they did at the beginning of the month. You simply light up when I put my face close to yours and your gummy grin is one of my absolute favorite things to see everyday! ...the battle with the bottle continues but we are hanging in there. Breastfeeding is going so well for us but I could really use a break every now and then where you could take some expressed breast milk from a bottle so that I could use a sitter or have Daddy feed you. While home in Pittsburgh you resisted for almost 2 hours, only to give in and take the bottle from ME! This goes against all the theories that babies won't take a bottle from their mothers so who knows what is going to work. We are trying to give you a bottle every day but it just seems to be inconsistant as to what makes you OK with it. I'm not really sure how to make this work for us but I'm trying to stay patient and know that you CAN take the bottle you just prefer it from the tap;) You are nursing 5-6 times a day right now every 3hrs or so and I will occasionally do a "dreamfeed" if your last nursing session seemed short. Speaking of dreams....they are SWEET around here these days. For almost 2-3wks now you have been sleeping through the night from about 7/730pm all the way til 645/7am! It is incredible. I will take every other baby hurdle if we can get a full night's sleep. Now if I could only shut off my mama brain and not wake up at 2 & 5am frantically checking the monitor to make sure that you're ok, we'd be in buisness. You have really learned to self soothe these past few weeks and pretty much go down with nary a peep at nap time and certainly bedtime. If I'm being honest, your independance makes me a bit sad at times as you're much less of a cuddler these days and 100% wanting to see the world, soak it in, and do things on your own (this includes being rocked to sleep...there are times when you wriggle your body and are just like "put me down mama!".) A true firstborn you are! We are loving each milestone, each smile, each way that you continue to show us who you are, Morgan! Cannot wait to see what the next month holds in your life :) I hope lots of giggles! |
AuthorSarah: one part of a family of THREE with my husband Lee and sweet girl Morgan, simply wanting to chronicle the path I'm on and the path that will come to be. For now it's NYC urban mamaville where everyday is a new adventure! (Actually, just getting to the post office is an adventure.) Ask Me Anything!Blogettes I LoveJoey & The Owl
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August 2015
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