Getting that cheering arm ready for the blue white game in just a few short months! Thank you Miss Karen for this stellar onsie...it was my very first piece in the ever expanding baby wardrobe.
Thank you Sarah Kiener for catching this little moment. Gushing over the sweetness of this little babe of mine...love love love.
When I was in the final stages of pregnancy and reading up on baby's first year of life, the biggest hurdles that I anticipated in the months ahead were sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and getting my body back. The first month of Morgan's life definitely left me shattered by the lack of sleep. Zombie form obtained, no doubt. My own Mom's 10 days with us coupled by Lee's incredible patience (not my best trait) got us through and once we formed a nightly routine + introduced the dreamfeed...I must to say I'm functioning fine on my 4.5 & 3.5 hour chunks of Zzzs. We start our morning around 7am and I am able to shower most days. High fives to that. Aside from M's little curled under lip in the hospital (thank god for my LC notes and the midwestern salt of the earth woman from The Pump Station on YouTube), breastfeeding and my supply have been easy breezy. Morgan is a speed demon eater (10-17min MAX) and the burping is getting better. I've lost muscle tone in my legs and arms but I'm happy with my weight bounce back...I anticipated much more of a struggle. (::takes bite of delicious cake from Abbey::) I burn 500-900 calorises a day making milk. It's fine.
But as life often does, the newborn curveballs thrown our way were ones I had not anticipated in the least. I had friends tell of babies with reflux and thought it was something very few infants dealt with, something that wouldn't even be on our plate once Morgan arrived. I mean hey, we had breastfeeding down right? If she's full, she'll sleep well...and we will be golden (side eye to my former self.) Two dear friends had near perfect babies that seemed to just eat-play-sleep and giggle all day. Perfect Babywise kids. The Facebook effect of my extended friend network posting hundreds of munchkin smiles had me thinking that was the only thing I'd be longing for come 6-8wks when in fact I just wanted 5min of her being content, happy and comfortable. The thing of it is...she isn't wailing or crying for hours. She's just fussy, hates being still and wrangles her body as you can imagine her last meal making its way through her tiny system. It's a full three ring circus to get her bounced and swaddled perfectly so that she's stable enough to digest and sleep at the same time with Lee & I being the only ones to know the exact method to the madness. (Friends couldn't even stop by and hold her for a few minutes as she would wail in another's arms.) "Sleep begets sleep" as all the baby whisperers say and little M is/was still fighting to be comfortable after a feed to get through one sleep cycle before the acidic saliva bubbles on her lips and she winces in pain. I have no doubt it's been harder on me than her to watch. After taking note of all her symptoms, the doctor suggested we go on baby Zantac which basically reduces the amount of acid secreted by the stomach thus allowing any erosive esophogitis to heal (hey I was a pharma rep remember!) Her starting dose was a bit low and showing very minimal improvement in her post meal reflux so we took it up to 2ml BID and we've been sitting pretty ever since...yesterday. I know, I know...a whole 48hrs of angel baby bliss is nothing to write home (blog) about but it feels like we just won a marathon. SOMETHING is working and I could just cry in elation of the fact.
6 weeks old and figuring it all out one 3 hour chunk at a time. Morgan was 11lbs 8oz on Friday at the doc's and if that isnt a win for comfort nursing I'm not sure what is ;) I know there will always be another hiccup around the corner but soldiering through this issue has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Maybe this is just what motherhood is for these first 3 months of life: a total crapshoot (that noone talks about) and trusting your instincts. Parenting is really so primal! Here's to chunky babies, lots of leg rolls ...and getting through the heart ofa storm with the help of an incredible extended circle of mama friends. You are all amazing.
*Remind us to time up baby Markle #2 during the spring - summer. Major cabin fever, cold/flu season worry, 19* frigid temp hatred.
*The sweedish Nosefrida is god's gift to new moms with squirmy babies and stuffy noses.
*I miss alot if things but primarily: having more than 1.5 glasses of wine at a time, stomach sleeping, and spontaneity. But mostly spontaneity. We moved our bookshelf of framed photos from the entryway to the living room to make room for stroller parking and for some reason, seeing those snapshots in my line of vision more frequently has made me very reflective on the how much has changed in just 5 weeks. I want to dive back into those photos some moments when I feel the walls of this apartment caving in on me or the pouts of a crying baby have become too much.
*Speaking of...Morgan is dealing with a bout of silent reflux. Google it, it's scary and the poor girl winces in pain mid-nap waking her from a deep slumber (and stealing Mama's downtime as I'm having to hold her upright as she naps---even the bouncy seat is too flat.) Waiting on doctor to call me back. I'm hoping it's baby Zantac to the rescue. I almost wrote "baby Xanex" just now...I'm sure THAT would knock the little one into quite the snoozefest haha.
*Time with Erin & Abby this weekend allowed me to laugh in a way that only happens when we retell PSU or study abroad stories for the umpteenth time to whomever (Lee...er, Morgan) will listen. Also of note: seeing your closest friends holding and loving on your baby is a life high. Morgan experienced her first NYC Sunday brunch over baked eggs and girl chat at Cafe Ronda. And then lost her cool after mama pushed the envelope time wise and baby wanted the milkshake factory again. Story of my life.
*Morgan took a bottle on Sunday after a week of fighting it. Lee went from being the bottle bully to the bottle buddy. She takes anywhere from 3-5oz from the Dr. Brown's bottle, propped up into the nook of Daddy's arm, one hand tucked on her side the other holding Lee's hand in hers. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen.
*As all my recent posts end..."and the baby is up..." um...the baby is up. Adios for now.
You are a whole big 1 month old! In so many ways this first month has flown by. I'm not really sure what day it is as Time is one long continuous entitiy these moments, each 24 hour cylce blending into the next. But oh my goodness, what a month it has been. You are a little jack of all trades noise maker and make me & Daddy laugh so hard at the gurgles and grunts that come from your little body. Sometimes you sound like a baby dinosaur even... with a pleasantly sweet "coo" here and there. You have a touch of silent reflux which has gotten so much better since birth (it was so scary for Mama to see, looks like you are choking!) and I think it just took you a few weeks for your tummy to mature and figure out how to burp and get the bubbles out. You are sleeping in about 3.5 hour chunks at night and have started to get a handle on night vs day. We dont really have any "schedule" yet persay but I can definiltey count on more wake time with you from about 9am-6pm and then the snoozy baby kicks in. Mornings are definitely my favorite time with you as you are just so happy and content just staring at Mama making silly faces and telling you how much she loves you, kissing those chunky neck rolls. In terms of sleep, the only way to really get you to pass out is to nurse or bounce on the yoga ball. You LOVE it. It's become a nightly and middle of the night-ly ritual. The first 2 weeks of life you had decided that Mama's chest was the only place you wanted to sleep and it was the sweetest thing in the whole world. We spent alot of our time just soaking in those moments together...with me taking in that sweet baby smell, aka heaven on earth. Whatever soothes you I say! Speaking of soothing, you HATE the pacifier. HATE. I hope you grow to like it but I'm noticing you've started to find your hands for self soothing, too! I'll take either;) We introduced a bottle to you before you were 2 weeks old and have taken it about 7 times since then, even though you fight it a bit. Daddy calls himself the bottle bully as he's the one charged with the duty of feeding you that way. You are one determined little lady already as we've noticed you stare so intently at us, bright lights, and your lambies on the mobile. Part of me thinks you are a total first born already, knowing exactly what you want and will let us know it! Unless you are totally passed out, the Moby wrap/Ergo/Bjorn are you favorite ways to take walks with Mama---the flat bassinet is not your favorite form of transportation but ah well, I like the snuggle time. You have this absolutely adorable half smile that looks like your Dad and a button nose and strawberry blonde fuzz that is 100% Mommy as a baby. Every day is something new around here and oh my gosh, am I waiting anxiously for your first real smile :)
1 month stats: 10lbs, 2oz : 22in long (aka a total chunk)
We love you so much sweet pea. You have made our family one of 3 and watching you grow and change has been a gift! How about the next gift you bring at 2 mo is some more longer 5-6hr sleep stretches? That's a good goal, deal?
ps: Thank you to Aunt Neha for my monthly onsies! They go well with my headband, dont you think?
It's no wedding video, but I'd like to thank iMovie for allowing me to get this done and completed in 27min flat. While pushing the bouncy seat and a napping Morgan with my foot. And replying to emails. That's about as productive as things get around here! One month old tomorrow...as they say, time is flying...
...from Hay Girl Hay, had to share, nailed it:
*College Uniform circa 2005*
North Face Denali jacket
Vera Bradley anything/everything
fake pearl earrings, the more colossal the better
Citizens of Humanity bootcut jeans (Sevens also acceptable)
any sunglasses seen on The Hills (these in particular)
Enough Tiffany silver to sink you straight to the bottom of the ocean
Coach wristlet for “going out”
crotch-length A&F denim mini
[your school here] hoodie with the collar cut out
ETA: oh my god these!
Don't mind me, just packin the pounds on little miss Morgan over here, sustaining life with my own body. Girlfriend weighed in at 10lb 2oz today...a pound per week since Dec 31st! And um, her head circumference...it's in the 95th percentile. Taking after her Daddy on that one! (And allowing me to breathe a sigh of relief that it was smaller at birth, yikes.)
We have had an incredible string of days. M hit the 4 week mark and something has just clicked. To see the changes since Sunday morning, wow. I feel human again. Morgan is happy as a clam. Lee is getting enough sleep at night. We've GOT this...
A quick break from the burping to say thank you to some very key and important mamas players in my life. Each of you has been nothing short of amazing in your reassurement of me as I navigate being a first time mommy. Your tips, "it gets better" texts, and words of advice are sometimes the only thing that gets me through a certain hour of the day. Your "try this!" examples for gas/hiccups/fussy baby times have saved us (Jess Boss, your telling me to re-blow up and bounce on the yoga ball has become our go to soothing/get baby to sleep technique for which apt 2A is forever grateful.) You laugh with me about having high maintence kids (Kristin, Abbey O), share the Aussie Mom ways (Milly), confirm the Moby wrap is really the best carrier once you get the hang of it (Katy), and get excited even when I innundate Instagram with pics of Morgan(Meredith, Kendall.) When I don't think I'm able to go on for weeks on end of little shut eye, you remind me that the population is exploding(Abby) and that people even choose to have more than one kid---something that seems like an insurmountable feat to me at the moment. When I feared colic you all consoled me and reminded me that babies cry(Meghan) and to try one thing out at a time to calm her (Erin.) It's not colic---she had 3 evenings where she was a train wreck. And then we figured her out some more and look at us now---we may nurse more at night and dance & sing around the place like silly fools but it works! And consoles her. Yay! And to all the other mommies in my world and blogosphere---each of you has made me feel more confident in every message. I am so very grateful for your friendship and connection.
Every day IS getting better (last night/yesterday evening was a dream, not an ounce of the crank). We are realizing her fussiness is all gas related and as her tummy matures her temperament is sweet as pie. Her faces as she stretches in the morning are still my favorite part of the day---as my Mom says it looks like she has to wake every cell of her body up before opening her eyes:)
And speaking of my Mom, I cannot begin to thank you enough for all that you did for us this past week. You were such an integral factor in getting us comfortable in life at home with Morgan, keeping the apartment clean, changing almost every diaper, and snuggling with our girl when I needed an extra morning snooze. You allowed us to go on a few date nights out, you learned along with us what makes Morgan tick and I will treasure those days you spent with us forever. We miss you already!!
...baby is up and Aunt Eliz is only here for a few more hours: seriously why is LA so far away?
Change, feed, burp, snuggle, sleep, rinse, repeat;)
Sarah: one part of a family of THREE with my husband Lee and sweet girl Morgan, simply wanting to chronicle the path I'm on and the path that will come to be. For now it's NYC urban mamaville where everyday is a new adventure! (Actually, just getting to the post office is an adventure.)
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