Tonight: toddler sniffles and runny nose and...Micky Mouse Clubhouse on repeat;)
I want this to be our thing. Whether it be a long day after your first few days of kindergarten, or when you're home sick w the flu, or after an exhausting late night for <insert after school activity>, or it's fall break of your freshman year of college and it's just been awhile since you've felt "home" like this...couch snuggles. I hope this can always make you feel as safe and relaxed as it does at 17mo old. I hope it makes you feel as loved and cozy as it does right now. I hope the memories of it build right now as your small size fits right in that nook, always and forever.
Tonight: toddler sniffles and runny nose and...Micky Mouse Clubhouse on repeat;)
Today is my 31st birthday. You have ingnited in me something that was so dark and untouched until you came into our world. My dear girl, it's like watching my heart relive life through your eyes each and every morning. When I pick you up from your crib with my "good morning sweetie!"…I scoop you up and you stand on the windowsill watching quietly as the taxis and buses cart all the city folk off to work. You stare and soak in the amazement of your world with a peacefulness that is beyond your one of age. (You must be an old soul like your Daddy) That peace teaches me lessons in patience, appreciation and compassion for the little things which is just an unparalled gift. And that glare hits me like a wave of goodness. You are my mirror to the past, the being that keeps me so consciously in the present, and the little stinker that gives me such joy in all that the future holds.
What's so interesting about being your Mama is that it is I that grew you and gave you life…but in effect, it is really you who has done that to me tenfold. Thank you for infecting me with your everything…but especailly that hilarious belly laugh for which can only be described as Aunt Elizabeth's soul twin chuckle ;) I wouldnt take back a single laugh line (where did those come from?) from all the smiles you gave me this year of my life.
I love you my little lovie!!
I would guesstimate that we've taken close to 1000 of pics of Morgan since she's been born. I'm sure this number decreases with every child but in our iPhone world where documentation is so easy, I can't even guess as to how many photos we will have of her by the time she is all grown up. That being said, there are ones like this that will always stand out. Always passed down. And always cherished in such a special way. It's hard for me to post photos of me with Morgan from those first 6mo of her life. My smile is so forced. I was wearing that goddamn same gap longsleeved tee. But the last pic? The one a year later with both grandparents? Full circle. Wow. Ps: Morgan loves her GG & Grampa Red!!
Anais Nin is one of those semi-recent discoveries of mine through the wonderful weekly e-newsletter called Brain Pickings. Nin's personal diaries have been put into hard copy works and her introspection finds such a home in my own journey…serving as a reminder to me to contine to come back to this space, a one-line-a-day hard journal, or a pocketbook memory keeper to keep my own time capsule alive! Acknowledgement, honesty, and openness to one's "broken" past can be such a catalyst for groundbreaking personal work. One week, Brain Pickings charged some artists with putting her quotes into design and the above print was hands down my favorite. I am many things in this life but I am most definitely without a doubt a "sharer." Sharing and connecting and searching out people to share in my chapter of life makes me feel so alive and bound to my story. It's evidance that I lived it and felt something powerful. Through this blog, I have been able to connect with mothers from all over the country and their wisdom, knowledge and support is one of those reasons that I continue to do so. Highs and lows and pictures of our kids and once in a blue moon rendezvous in the City for conversation where we barely come up for air…it's what we do best. We discuss how vulnerable we all are to the sideline folks who see our stories as fluff. And to that I say, who the F cares. (I am still working on reminding myself of it.) If I want to be anything to Morgan, I want to be authentic. Because being authentic is not necessarily always the easy route, but it certainly makes one feel so good that your insides match your outside. "All of my creation is to weave a web of connection"…well said, Nin. I feel the exact.same.way.
Ahhh New York in the spring! If there was time there was ever a time to have the annual love affair with New York it is now. The thawing out from winter, we have earned every single day of sunshine that this springtime has given us so far and in a way that feels even more powerful than years past. KCS always reminds me that I go through this seasonal nostalgia every April/May in manhattan, worriednervousanxious over it being the "last" of our big apple years. (Jersey perhaps in 2015? It's always on the brain. I modulate between wanting my own closet (Momo and I share one. One single door of a closet in her nursery. With the majority of my wardrobe under our queen-wish it were a king-bed), wanting an adult size dishwasher, a garbage disposal, a home for the sippy cups (damnit those things are everywhere, and have 1000 parts), and porch that opens up to a yard that begs you to spend the majority of your hours there just being.
But back to the sunshine. Central Park is lush and green and we build our days around exploring the flowers, sliding on every.single.slide, quack quack quacking with the duckies, making new toddler friends who speak a different language (love you tourists and your kiddies), and hopping along the benches in the Mall while listening to the Mumford & Sons cover quartet. We wave to the horses & carriages, we pet the friendly dogs off leash in the park before 9am, we throw our heads back in laughter just because we can, we are in flip flops and sundresses (sometimes matching, c'mon) and we (I) am most definitely always with a coffee in hand ;)
How-do-you-live-heres bounce around my head as I soak in the present moment with Morgan. It's because of the beauty that is found in this urban oasis of this sprawling park, we make this our island our home.
My Kindle broke. It's been finicky for a while these days and while my super sweet husband tried to be sneaky and order me a new one for Mother's Day (my email is associated with our account. The moment he ordred I received an email…oh Dads;) I figured out the thoughtful gift last week. Anyways, my 2009 Kindle is dunzo so we decided to just throw it in Morgan's toy bin as the girl is loving all things buttons and pushes and pulls these days. This morning, she was carrying it around and, as any young toddler does, experiments with chucking it straight across the room. (She is mastering quite the overhead throw. Future soccer star? ) And the corner of the thing landed right on the top of my foot. OUCH, said loudly but not enough to scare my girl. As she stood on the other side of the room watching me rub my foot I looked over and explained to her that it is not good to throw the Kindle, that bottom lip of hers began to slowly curl under…no tears came but would you know she ran quickly over to me, patted my foot and then threw her arms around my neck for the longest hug I've received from her in my mama memory. It was without a doubt my number 1 mama moment in her life thus far. Teaching my daughter empathy and manners is so important to me at this stage of development but seeing it put to the test in a real life moment…well that just made my week. My second Mother's Day week, to boot! I'm not sure what it is about watching one's child figure out the world, but for me the expression of her emotions seem to be taking the cake for me. Do I love watching her climb up and slide down the little slide at the 68th Street playground all by herself? Of course! But what I love even more is seeing the look on her face just before she scoots her bottom a bit further onto the slide to go down. She stares off a bit and gives this little fearless look as if to say "Ok self, I got this!" And when she sticks the landing? The sense of pride exhibited on her sweet little face just melts this mama to a pile of mush.
Maybe I'll drop the Kindle on my toe myself later on today to replicate that perfect moment ;)
ps: switching topics…adding a new feature to the blog! A little "Looks for Less" element for all you budget shoppers out there. Pintrest outfits gone affordable. Stay tuned!
A Dad at swimming class this morning asked if Morgan's $1.49 Old Navy off season swimsuit was from the baby Hermes line. File under: Budget shopping FTW.
This week we're offering up some of my favorite small businesses for those in NYC and beyond. ETSY fans and Manhattan locals, I hope you indulge in some of the stores and talent below!
Makeup By Erin: If you're in the NYC area and want to switch up your normal "dinner & drinks" routine with your girlfriends, I cannot recommend Makeup By Erin enough! Pharma rep by day, makeup artist extroidenairre by night, Erin is an up and coming bridal makeup consultant in the Manhattan area (and beyond!) and did a wonderful night of teaching us mamas how to best maximize our makeup as is as well as implementing the "5min routine" for those mornings when we are most frazzled but still want to feel our best. All of us are still talking about the skills we gained from our personalized mini sessions with Erin and swapped secrets amongst ourselves, too! Contact Erin at email@example.com for pricing & to book your Moms & Makeup (&Wine) Night IN :)
Riva Letterpress: My dear sweet used to be finance chick turned letterpress guru Elizabeth Riva Micsky has opened up her flagship store on ETSY and the product is just adorable. Explore her stuff and google at the classiness and wit her stationary, gift tags, and cards have to offer! $4/card.
Overdressed Fete: My "little" in Pi Phi is hitting the ground running with this trendy calligraphy after a move to Chicago with her new husband! All of your wedding needs as well as some fabulous extras (hello signature sequin drink stirrers!) can be found here. Her Lindsay font is my personl fav. $1-$2/envelope or stirrer.
Cyclical Industry: Everyone knows the term "arm party" for gals that like to stack stack stack when it comes to bracelets and bangles. These basic threaded bracelets with geometric shapes are a new find for me at the Chelsea Market Flea and I adore the simplicity. $19/each.
Pamelabarsky Bags: These bags speak for themselves. All of us have a friend that wishes they could be a New Yorker. KCS, this one's for you;) $16.50/pouch.
Sarah: one part of a family of THREE with my husband Lee and sweet girl Morgan, simply wanting to chronicle the path I'm on and the path that will come to be. For now it's NYC urban mamaville where everyday is a new adventure! (Actually, just getting to the post office is an adventure.)
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