Everything's feeling stronger these days..
Her kicks. Oh those kicks! They feel more like just went over a hill on the Jack Rabbit kind of flip flop. Sometimes she nudges when I say "how's goin' in there" and rub my belly. Other times it's out of the blue and gymnastics central in the womb or so it seems.
Mourning life that was. Overly sentimental as I think about life pre-pregnancy. Being uptown really feels like the suburbs to me. I'm still in a state of "wait, what did we just do?!" sometimes as our evenings simply are less likely to push midnight as I turn into a pumpkin come 10pm most nights. Sparkling water with a splash of cran...that's my jam. It's strange. All these gestures of pulling back and conserving energy for healthy things...it's good (great!) but different.
Confidence in my body being pregnant. In those first few months, I was a nervous wreck. I now wake each morning with such gratitude and a deeper understanding that my body can do this and will tackle growing this baby girl into our perfect little newborn like it's no big thing. I feel more stronger about my future labor and delivery and just knowing I can do it. People keep asking me if I fear it? I really dont. What do I fear? Sleep deprivation x a million. That makes me nervous. But again, that too shall pass.
Marriage. It's amazing how these daily pregnancy milestones add to the strength of our marriage. I knew it would but it gets me everytime we laugh about her fruit to fetus comparsion size or the "do you like the name? I think I love it!" banter comes up. A gift this baby girl has already given to us are these additional final memories before her arrival and all that we smile and discuss at the end of the day :)
118 days to go
Sarah: one part of a family of THREE with my husband Lee and sweet girl Morgan, simply wanting to chronicle the path I'm on and the path that will come to be. For now it's NYC urban mamaville where everyday is a new adventure! (Actually, just getting to the post office is an adventure.)
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