What was “it”? Post partum anxiety in the spring of last year, a MESS of hormones and a little (BIG) thing called MTHFR. I’ll touch more on that separately when I have the time, inclination, and energy to do so but for now I just want to say that it was the darkest, most scary point of my life those first 6 months of Morgan's life. I was in a black hole of all black holes. But thanks to a number of incredible people (and the wonders of Zoloft for a few months and more active Folate than you can imagine), I am here. Present. And more alive than ever.
I’m hitting a stride. My gratitude for life and my capability as a mother is as high as I’ve known it. And simply put, I just know myself better than I ever had before. (I could be a poster child for another Tina Fey series called The 30s Rock.) I love this decade of life already just 10mo in. My new year's resolution this year was to "release expectation" and I can honestly say it's been one of the hardest yet best lessons to learn in this season of life. Whatever may be may be. Highs? Even greater, no expectation! Woohoo! Lows? Ah well, tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is another night out. Tomorrow is only 24hrs away. If I could only have had this mindset in the throws of sleep deprivation and maniacal scheduling of Morgan's naps back in early 2013. Speaking of…
Morgan’s flipping fantastic. That little girl….(gush)…my heart, my little lovie, my everything. Lee is absolutely wonderful. My love, my rock, my all. You’ll get more of all the sappies if you read along.
So here I am. Back with (some scenery and format changes, soon) and better than ever.
And because the only way to really show life these days is in a series of iphone pics. Here we were…and here we are. (mostly from the upswing. You can tell I'm feeling better based on the number of times I wear my hair down. HA. Poneytail and hat? Eeesh I'm struggling.)